CJ is fast becoming Public enemy No. 1 - but hey one day he has to start playing again and we can all laugh at him!!!!!!

With the one man Mawer demolition of Swanage slowly disappearing into DPL folklore, the daunting task of a trip to he Avenue was next for G-Unit and his rejuvinated Cobham side to tackle the might of Dorchester Town Reserves.
As per usual, there were more than a few changes to the starting XI. The 'biggest' one was perhaps that of Chapman in goal due to an absent Higgy. There were a few theories as to why Chapman was picked to go between the sticks, one was that G picked him as his frame would fill a large percentage of the goal mouth and therefore restricting the area the Dorch attackers had to aim at. The second was that everyone drew straws but Sam was too slow to get a chance to pick a straw so was left with the default short straw, a 3rd was that G couldn't bring himself to dropping his number one 'managerial decision making supporter' from the side completly and so accomodated him. Finally and most ludicrously, that Sam is a proven goalie at this level and is more than capable of holding his own if not any crosses!
Dan Payne missed the trip to Dorchester as he joins CJ on the knee injury list, and with Goodbodys suspension finally starting, Nick Tempany made a rare start alongside 18 goal Mawer. The was also a recall for club captain Merrell as he managed to get off his piles ring long enough to run around. Vukcevic also returned at left wing back with Alfie moving into the centre. The defence was back to full strength with the now Ginger Tucker and Cotton accompanying Allen the sweeper. On the bench was Robbie Cooke and G in a vain attempt to re-kindle his playing days, but with Mozza on the bench for Dorchester there was still hope for him.
The match startd as expected with the youthful Dorchester side applying the pressure and there was a few early touches for the stand-in keeper who flapped at more than one or two crosses but his frame and sheer blind luck saved his blushes. But most of the threat was nullified by the rock solid midfield, the athletic wing back, the awesome defence and Gunny. Then, as in recent weeks, Cob startd to express themselves, and also as in recent weeks, most of the joy came from the intricate passing in the midfield and the hard work, tireless running and trickery of Gunn down the right. It was from the midfield play that the first chance emerged after 20 minutes. A poor cross was made difficult by Chapman who eventually got the ball under control and rolled it out to Allen. He took his time and picked a pass into the midfield and it was first time knocked out wide to the asylam seeker Vukcevic, he in turn played a long ball down the line for Tempany to give chase. He pressured the defender into a mistake and robbed him of the ball. He slipped it into Mawer on the edge of the box with only one defender to beat and the youngster showed great awareness to spot the hairy, pot-bellied dwarved Gunn to his right and slipped it straight into the veterans path who took one touch and then let fly. With the keeper only able to watch, the ball whizzed past him and struck the bar. Dorchester knew they were in for a match.
Cobham were dominating and were forcing Dorchester to play like the away side - on the counter attack. Critchell was being his usual whiney self in midfield and faced against 2 more athletic, younger opposites, only the knowledge he still had the legs on Mezza could've given him respite, but regardless, he was not having a good day. Until that is, the 35th minute. The ball had dropped to a striker in the box and forced Chapman into action who despite being nutmegged luckily his cellulite ion the way and deflected the ball out for a corner. The corner was floated in and it dropped to the moaning git Critchell who made no mistake and gave Chapman no chance of claiming a clean sheet bonus as the ball was volleyed ino the top corner - 1-0 and to say it was against the run of play was almost as big a understatemet as saying Mezza lacks a few yards of pace. Cobham tried to hit back straight away but Mawers efforts lacked the desired power to test the lanky streak of piss in the Dorchester goal.
Half Time - 1-0
The second half kicked off and Cobham were still in the changing room as poor marking and now uncharachteristic bad defending gifted the home side a few early half chances that Chapman dealt with well with a series of saves. Also, having learnt from the first half,(bad geek joke coming up . . . ) Chapman was less and less like Dracula as he punched crosses instead of attempting to catch them.

Sure enough, as the half wore on Cobham came back into it and applied some pressure of thier own. Then at last, an equalizer. With slow and methodical build up play (with Mez about, is there any other type) The ball was played out to the left wing to Scott who tried to play a 1-2 with his captain but Merrells co-ordination let him down and instead the ball ricocheted off of his shin pad and flew into the bottom right corner. 1-1 The team, the stand and the bench went wild. Cobham were back on level terms and there was plenty of time left to grab a winner.

Not wanting to let the high flyers settle, Cobham went for the win in a venue where theyve not endured the greatest success in recent times with the last trip ending in a 7-1 hammering after going 1 up. Incidentally, Merrell scored that day as well. Cobham pressed and pressed and could've had a second had Mawer and Law let others join in their game instead of passing it between themselves for about 5 minutes. Had one of them looked up they would surely seen the inspirational couple of Merrell and Gunn screaming for the switch ball as it would've created a 2 man overlap and although either would've probably missed, they may have been able to create something for someone else to score. This is how the game remained, it looked destined for a draw. there was however, one last opportunity for Cobham . . . .

Being caught in possession on the halfway line is never good but it's what the Dorchester defender did. The ball was then threaded through to Law who breached the Dorch back line and raced toward goal. He was one on one with thier keeper, last minute, could it be a fairy tale ending???

No is the simple answer, the shot from Law, 10 yards out left his left boot and started to rise, it just kept going, up and up - like the great glass elevator, nobody knew when, if ever it would come down, it was the worst attempt at scoring since Richie Penn in Jersey.

Final whistle then blew - probably a fair result considering Cobham had an immobile and immovable object in goal.

1-1