'When the seagulls follow the trailer' no not cantona, lois arrives at Stad de Cob

After the disappointment of the last minute defeat at the hands of the gits from the moor, it was the nice simple task of a double header against perennial high flyers Gillingham up next for Cobham, complete with returned jumped up Frenchman Loic. Unfortunately, a change of manager hasn’t signalled a change of fortunes for Cobham, with ‘G-Unit’ forced to make a change in the middle of the park. With Painer absent, Goodbody was pushed up top alongside Mawer and new signing Jim ‘Jude’ Law took his place in the middle for his debut.

Cobham raced out of the traps like Keith Jnr to Burger King and promptly pressurised the Gillingham side into conceding a number of throw-ins in threatening areas. However, as time went on, the longer the home side failed to convert their possession the more Gill started to come back into it. Some slack defending all round presented the first few chances to Gillingham’s European import who had efforts, blazed over, dragged wide and comfortably caught by Higson in the Cobham goal. Twenty minutes gone and things were evenly poised all over the pitch. Tempers did start to fray slightly with the usual poor refereeing decisions that left players from Cobham and Gill players alike very frustrated. Cobham had a few chances toward the end of the half, most notably when the ‘keeper played an audacious 1-2 with Chris Mawer. Apparently he knew exactly what he was doing from his defenders back pass as Mawer closed him down – others doubt it and think he is just a lucky b*stard, that’s how it stayed until half time. 0-0

The second half started with visitors on top. Despite their rapid start and quality of possession, Matty ‘Shank’ Allen, Paul ‘Tucks’ Tucker and Rob ‘Junior’ Cotton remained steadfast and restricted all shooting opportunities to a minimum with Higgy in the sticks remaining unchallenged. By now, the experience of the Cob side started to show and a few openings were created for the home side. Only poor finishing kept the scores level with the ever graceful in the face of old age Gunn the primary culprit, blasting over from the side of the box on a couple of occasions. Mawer was also guilty of not capitalising on defensive errors to edge Cobham into the lead.

In the midfield, Merrell, Law and Hole were dominating and pouncing like a crouched tiger onto each and every loose ball. Then, just as ‘G’ was preparing to enter the fray in an attempt to revive his Combination career the bit of luck Cobham had been waiting for all season prevented it. . . . Mawer darted into the box from the right and pulled the ball back to Goodbody 6 yards from goal who’s initial shot was parried by the ‘keeper. Although it was deflected into the path of the defender rushing back to assist who inadvertently re-directed the ball into the back of his own net. 1-0! The crowd was going wild! Stad de Cob was rocking!

With 20 minutes to go, Cobham were in the drivers seat and if the score was to change the wise money was on Cobham to extend their lead rather than Gillingham equalise. Time was ticking and for all the neutrals what a game it had been. The Gillingham ‘keeper was enjoying himself so much he even had the audacity to play another 1-2 with Mawer to get his kicks. The seconds slowly ebbed away and the points looked like they were staying at Merley Park. The suddenly, disaster struck. A fairly innocuous ball was played into the box and Higgy was day dreaming as he’d had so little to do all day and lost all hand-eye co-ordination. As he went to collect the ball, he missed. Like a trapped Albatross with the sight of freedom, he flapped wildly and the ball bounced of his saggu man breasts and into the path of the Gill striker who had to pick his jaw off the floor in disbelief before stroking the ball into an empty net. 1-1 with only 3 minutes left.

Despite all the domination, all the efforts on goal Cobham were level and with precious few minutes remaining a winner was elusive.

Final score 1-1

Team: Higson, Cotton/Raines, Allen, Tucker, Merrell, Hole, (I am the) Law, Vukcevic, Gunn, Mawer, Goodbody. Subs: G, Asbo, Temps

NB – Some of the lads offered to buy Higgy a pint to drown his sorrows in after the match. He declined fearing he would drop that as well and didn’t want an extensive bar bill for broken pint glasses.