Stourpaine-ful to watch

Stourpaine-ful to watch

More troubles for Keith this week with Wayne pulling a groin muscle while trying to pest up some girls the previous weekend. This brought a debut for Elliot in between the sticks. The return to full fitness of Diddy Hounsell was a plus after a poor performance whilst ill last week and Keith junior was recalled after a spell in the shithouse. The mercurial Chrissy Gallop made a long awaited return to the first team after a clash of personalities with the previous boss to try out the left midfield slot, although not his favoured position.

Cobham kicked down the slope first half and a bright start was made to the game by both sides. Stourpaine’s lightning fast striker was looking even quicker when up against the Penn-atrator but he even skinned the fastest member of the quartet at the back, Tucks, as he laid the first goal on a plate for one of the Freak twins, who couldn’t miss from 2 yards out. Before long, Cobham were level, Chris (my Dad has a people carrier) Mawes breaking from distance before finishing expertly with the outside of the boot past the advancing keeper. It was end to end stuff at the Stade de Cob, with the dickbrain in gold boots causing havoc down the flanks. A similar break almost set up Stour’s second but the evergreen Hallam headed clear from under the bar. Penn was tucking round the back when a hopeful ball over the top put the Cob back line under pressure. His clearance struck the arm of the attacker and the home supporters behind the goal won the free kick as the ref had no view whatsoever and just went with the shout. Another let off but it was 2-1 to Stour soon after. A foul on the edge of the box and the resultant free kick was smashed home, similar to the goal against Holt. The ginger haired Elliot stood helpless. Fifteen minutes gone and this had the makings of a rugby score. On the twenty minute mark, the impressive veteran Hallam made it 2-2 with a firm header. The rest of the half was all Cobham’s with wave after wave of attack. The Stour defence was playing a high line and numerous times Gunnsey and Mawes were onside but the pre-pubescent lino needed to clean his NHS bins as he continually flagged for offside. A few wayward shots from Merrell and Williams and honours were even at half time.

No hammerings this week at the interval as Keith senior praised the spirit for coming from behind (and then in the mouth) twice and playing the best football probably seen this season at a very high tempo.

The second half was not as exciting with Stour having the better of the chances but there was hesitation in the defence from a long throw which brought about the winner. Cobham had chances to draw level for a third time but it was not to be. Although a defeat it was the best performance for a while, first half especially. The only other highlight of the game was when Merrell proved how thick these country bumpkins are when he lured his opposition number into a booking, much to the amusement of the crowd.

TIME FOR A FRY UP?

It was always going to be difficult for Shane to fill the (plastic) boots of a Cobham icon such as Alan Stephens. Many people have tried to run the Cobham reserves , but not since the late 90’s when the duo of Pete ‘Jocko’ Murray and Richie D produced a promotion charge to the senior league, has there been a successful campaign. Originally employed in a ‘caretaker’ role Shane got the job full time after he successfully steered the team to relegation last year. A disappointing start to the season and the knives were out for Shane and he got the bullet earlier this week, with him vowing to continue his playing career.

Shane was quoted as saying – ‘I have been a successful manager before (whilst leading Poole Town under 18’s on many a drinking and troublemaking spree around Dorset) and I will bounce back from this. It was a dream job and one like this gets offered to you, it is impossible to turn down. Unfortunately, maybe it came a little too early in my managerial career.’

Rumours were rife yesterday that Jimmy Fry was the man for the vacant hot seat. He was unavailable for comment so one was just made up anyway. He said – ‘If it gets me on the plane to Jersey, I’m up for it’

STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAMMER TIME

A visit to the county ground usually spells one thing for Cobham and this was no different – Defeat again, but there was a more worrying sight than the overall result for manager Keith Williams and that was a first half performance that only Sven would have found pleasing.

After setting up in the now familiar diamond formation, the Penn-atrator was given the difficult task of filling the problematic holding midfielders position. However after 5 minutes of huffing and puffing poor Rich had nothing left in the tank and reverted to his more favoured position of centre half with ‘Denny Mundee’ utility man Tucks again swapping roles during the game.

The pitch was deceptively bad with the warm up taking place on a training pitch, so as not to damage the mecca of football, but it was still the best, the poor excuse for a county pitch has ever looked. However, as usual you had no idea when the ball was bouncing whether it would roll along the floor or smack you in the chops.

The opening exchanges were pretty even with Merrell and veteran Hallam keen to impress on their old stamping ground:- Merley Park being Merrell’s new stamping ground after the x-rated Michael Essien special last week against the basement boys. Hamworthy were looking brighter with some of the Cobham outfit struggling to kick their own arse, let alone the football, but after 20 minutes the referee made a decision which on first view looked dodgier than his horrific haircut. After a blatant foul on the sprightly Gunn, who was defying his 30 years down the right flank, the Hamworthy player kicked the ball away. A yellow card looked nailed on, but to the shock of the loyal spammers fans, the glistening of the red was seen in the glorious Hamworthy sun. Disgusted, the player left the field and dramatically threw his shirt at a fan, more reminiscent of a premiership player on 50k a week, not a Hamworthy reserve on half a coke and a bag of peanuts – this guy was big time!!!!

Like most referees at this level, he had to even it out and after a clumsy tackle on the half way line, Penn was also given his marching orders. A harsh decision was thought by all, apart from some idiot supporting Hamworthy who had a big grey beard. From the resultant free kick a double blow ensued with the normally reliable Wayne-r left groping uncomfortably in thin air as hopeful punt eluded the static back line and nestled in the net.

Half time came and Keith pulled no punches. He let the team have it both barrels, but by the time he had finished with CJ there was not enough to go round. The tea cups were left out of reach and any pizza or sandwiches would have hit the wall (if Chapman hadn’t eaten them first). Then came a rousing speech from ‘caged lions’ Simon. Three words; Pride, pace, position and depth. Here is a man who is teaching the youngsters of today and he can’t count – Masterful.

Simon’s prophetic words seemed to have some effect on the Cob boys as the second half started brightly with Gunnsey restored to his favoured position up front, but although a marked improvement on the first half, no real chances were created and the Spammers clinched victory with a well taken second.

In conclusion, performances need to pick up and although struggling with illness, injury and suspension, people will be playing for their seat on the plane, with only the manager, assistant and kit-man/drinks boy/ bucket and sponge man’s spots guaranteed.

Cobham's run continues but not in the style they wanted!!!

Sports took on bottom of the the league Wareham Rangers on Saturday. No points so far this season for the Rangers and Sports didn't want that to change.

Sports again started the game well spending most of the opening exchanges in the Rangers half, but again Sports couldn't make the early advantages count. The game wasn't the prettiest to watch and with confidence low in both teams it wasn't ever going to get any better.

It was Rangers that took the lead from the spot. The penalty came about when two many Sports players hesitated from a Rangers corner, no one took responsibility to clear the ball. This has been happening to often this season and as a result Sports have been punished on too many occasions. The ball fell to a Wareham player inside the box and the unlucky Den 'Perry' was made the scapegoat for his mis-timed tackle. The penalty was converted confidently in the keepers bottom right hand corner.

This seemed to spur on the Sports, they went straight down the other end to try to get on level terms. Gunn was a constant threat during the first half and it was he who popped up at the far post to tap in a great move and cross from new signing Chris Mauws. Jefferies won a header on the halfway line, Mauws picked up the ball about ten yards inside the Rangers half and ran at them. He was still going as he got to the left hand corner of the box, showing great strength and pace to hold of the Wareham defenders. By the time he had got to the 6 yard box he had managed to go past at least 4 Wareham players before drilling a cross-shot passed the keeper to the grateful Gunn. Some discussion after the game whether it was an own goal or Gunsey's but we have saved Craig Miles blushes and given the goal to Gunn.

From then on this game got slowly worse as two sides severely lacking confidence fought out a draw. It was Wareham that finished the better of the two sides but never really challenging Robbins in the Sports goal. Sports where left to hang on after a rush of blood to the head from the skipper left them with 10 men, a very rash tackle left a Rangers player in a lot of discomfort.

The performance from Sport's wasn't good enough and the manager let them know that after the game. It was a massive difference from the performance given the previous week against Bmth Sports and this is a major problem for Sports. After ten games they haven't fielded the same team in any game. From week to week the number of changes is now becoming a headache for the manager and is probably a big reason why the consistancy is not there.

A very eventful week in the DPL!

Poole Borough on the end of another thrashing, after losing 6-0 at Gillingham Borough fans had to watch as their biggest rivals hammered them at home. With Sid making his Borough debut on the bench i bet he wished he had left it a couple of weeks before making his decision.

The big news came after the game when the Borough Manager 'resigned' along with his assistant Giles Kilshaw Smythe. This has left the club in a bit of a mess, with players leaving and all his mates undecided of their futures at the club (no guarenteed starts anymore). Bedward and Orchard off back to Hamworthy United with Dave Dick. Dave Perry off to Wimborne and many others looking for a quick get out of the sinking ship.

The big news of the week has to be the cup draws, Cobham have been drawn away to Dorchester United in the league cup. A real glamour tie and everyone is talking about it.

No really Cobham have been drawn away to St Paul's of jersey, a great chance for the Cobham lads to get into Europe. With so many French ladies in Jersey the whole squad could be going in and out of Europe on the saturday evening!!!!!

Battling Cobham on undefeated run!!!!

Cobham have put together a run of two games without defeat, after two fine battling performances.

Sports came from two nil down in the bottom of the table clash at Swanage. After starting the game well, Sports switched off for five minutes and leaked two soft goals. But the resilient Sports showed they still had the fight in them and came back hard at Swanage. The first goal came from the head of the 'big caveman' up front. Kieran Campbell showed why the gaffer had splashed out on his signature, the towering header was his first of the season. Cobham were now doing all the attacking and it was inevitable the equaliser would come. It came from the unlikely source of Williams, he ghosted in at the back post to convert an Edwards cross. It turnrd out to be 'Sids' last game for Cobham as he has decided that the grass is greener on the turlin moor pitch!!! Little did he know what was about to happen at the Borough in a very eventful week for the Hairnets- oops sorry Hornets.

Cobham pressed on for the winner but it never came and the game fizzled out into a pretty tame second half. The only real chance falling to cavey wavey up front who blazed over from the edge of the box.


team: Robbins, Johnstone, Penn(Liam), Chapman, Hallum, Merrell, Edwards(Dan Nipper), Tucker, Campbell, Gunn, Williams(Smith)



Bournemouth Sports v Cobham Sports
This was a very entertaining nil-nil draw with both sides playing attractive football and lots of commitment from both sides. On his last game before his 8 week enforced holiday, Sam Chapman was moved into the centre of midfield, as the enforcer along side Merrell. Tucker was moved into the back four to make one of the best looking centre back partnerships in local football, Hallam and Tucker both look like they have just stepped out of a salon.
The first half saw Cobham shooting towards the airport with a very strong wind behind them. The wind had a major impact on the game causing both teams to struggle to get out of their own halfs when against the wind. Cobham created four really good chance in the first half, all of them falling to the new signing Chris Mas. But the young lad snatch at the chances and failed to convert. Bournemouth Sports had a couple of chances in the first half, but the closest they came to scoring was a shot from Osborne that clipped the outside of a post.

The 2nd half started much the same as the 1st half had ended, camped in the airport end half. The wind was very strong and causing both teams problems, Cobham dug in and made Bmth sports try to break them down. Which they failed to do, in the end Cobham looked very comfortable with the only real danger being long distance shots that never tested Robbins in goal. In fact Cobham should of snatched the points in the last five minutes, with a counter attack down the left hand side Dan nipper drilled a cross in to the on running Chris Mas. But he just couldn't control his shot and ended up fluffing it badly. The draw was a fair result as both teams had battled hard against each other and the conditions.

Team: Robbins, Penn(Johnston), Hounsel, Hallam, Tucker, Merrell, Gunn, Chapman, Campbell(Nipper), Mas, Smith (Godwin).